Pops was known for a lot of crazy things and from the stories I’ve been told, he was a lot happier about the things he became known for after his “born again” moment. More than anyone else I’ve ever known, George John Trick immersed himself in his relationship with God; he was proud to be a fanatic. One year, after locking himself in his study on a three day meditation he emerged from the “tomb” singing something incessantly…seriously, this little ditty lasted the rest of his life and it continues to be the single nugget of Christianity that persists most significantly in my belief system today.

“Believing makes it so.”

Maybe this throws a bit of a wrench into the whole celebration of doubt dialog, but this aphorism is what allows me to respect other people’s spirituality at the deepest level. It’s different than just saying “that’s fine for you but it’s not true for me.” It’s more like, “I can really see how that belief is reflected in your life and work and that’s beautiful and powerful.”

As a chaoist my most fundamental belief is in the inherent power and interchangeability of belief. Rather than seeing belief as an end in itself, being preoccupied with the degree to which a particular belief is consistent with conventional wisdom or, heaven forbid, an ultimate morality, I view belief as a means to an end. Once a belief is no longer consistent with my list of desired ends…it becomes counterproductive and must be discarded, modified or replaced with something more suitable. It’s very much a “belief of convenience” sort of walk. Furthermore the collective result of beliefs manifesting reality for centuries is something some people call an aetheric or akashic record. I believe it’s there with all sorts of stored energy that can either support or undermine one’s own effort to manifest reality via devout (however transitory) belief.

I think it was Ghandi who said something along the lines of “Be the change you want to see in the world.” I guess my own version of that idea is “Believe the change you want to see in the world and you will be it by default.”

So, ever since we’ve started marketing the play that opens next week, I’m left wondering “what’s left for me to doubt about?” I suppose I could call into question my belief in the power of belief.

For example, no matter how hard I try, I doubt that sitting here chanting “I believe in a blue haired, green eyed alien friend” would result in any physical manifestation of such a creature. But that monasticism would likely create an iconic new voice among the masses in my head that I would begin to represent in my imagination as a funny looking dude from outer space who was more or less fond of me and I of him; especially if I could summon considerable belief. I’m left with no doubt in the power of belief and I guess I’ll just have to live with that.

I can, however, go back to doubting whether we’ll ever get over the damage a certain bit of shrubbery has done to our global reputation as a nation. I can doubt that Mr. Jackson or Mr. Spectre is, either one of them, truly innocent. I can doubt that Pat Robertson, a man who has called for political assassination on national television, really has a walk with anything resembling what the rest of us conceive of as god. But I can’t know these things to be absolutely true or false, that’s for sure, right?

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