Got any screaming, hollering, slavering Storm fans on your Christmas list this year? The Mercury’s got an awesome charity auction running right now in support of the Portland Women’s Crisis Line, and one of the things you can bid on is tickets to see Crazy Enough and the chance to hang out with Storm backstage after the show. Its currently bidding at $63. You should totally steal this deal to swap stories with Storm.

A word of warning though: Storm is reserving the right to kick you to the curb if you act all weird. So, don’t.

{photo: Plan birthday bash. Check. Escape uncouth co-workers. Check. Keep book club out of bathroom. Check and check. Who knew PCS could be so handy?}

Got a social datebook crammed with parties to plan, people to host and charities to support? Jackie Kennedy managed it all with the help of a social secretary. Now so can you. We’ve put our heads together and gathered our top 5 ways you can use Portland Center Stage as your personal social secretary for the coming season.

5. Find something less sweaty to do with your co-workers.

Bowling parties, softball teams, picnics, BBQs; I’ve bet you’ve got one penciled into your date book already for next year, probably designed by some well intentioned HR person to “promote employee camaraderie and good communication.” The problem? That guy from sales who was on the college varsity team and always makes everyone else look like they’ve got two left feet. Plus, unless you work in landscaping or construction, sweating in front of co-workers is never a good idea.

Suggest to your HR person that your next corporate outing should be a nice air-conditioned, non-competitive trip to the theater. Not only will How to Disappear Completely without Being Found make you (and your boss) completely re-examine the stakes involved in your next Power Point presentation, you’ll be able to limit your required amount of small talk with that Battlestar Galactica obsessed guy from IT down to one digestible 15 minute intermission.

{Can’t stomach the thought of a corporate mixer without competition of some kind? Our rental coordinator Heather Burkhalter (heatherb@pcs.org) helped one company set up a series of Wii game stations and flat screen TVs for their sales team to unwind on our mezzanine. I bet she could help you too.}

4. Birthdays are better with “jazz hands.”

Debating whether to make your birthday celebration a candlit, “dinner and a show” type affair or a full on blow-out bash? Do both. A variety of patrons (including Rep. Earl Blumenauer) have used our mezzanine for a swanky cocktail birthday bashes. Include tickets to the current show as part of your evening and your party guests will be too caught up in the emotions of the show to think up more eye rollers about how “over-the-hill” you are.

Some birthday themes to consider:

If you are a Libra, your timing is perfect for a “Luck be a Lady” party with vintage cocktails and bite sized versions of New York favorites for noshing before the classic American musical Guys and Dolls (it runs through Oct. 26th). After the show you could arrange a little speakeasy game of blackjack or a little Sinatra-themed karaoke and keep the fun rolling along.

Aquarians of an age could blast off with a “Space Race” party in honor of the world premiere of Apollo, Nancy Keystone’s multimedia re-examination of the space race. For nibbles, consider some Huntsville, Alabama-style southern comfort food…and for fun before the show, have your guests recount where they were when Armstrong uttered those immortal words.

3. Chalk up your Good Samaritan Points for the year.

On the board of a nonprofit that’s been bugging you to give, get, or get off? Let us help you host a fundraiser. You’ll get a bucket of tickets to sell at a great price, the non-profit will get a portion of the proceeds and you’ll have a blast earning brownie points and supporting your pet cause.

You can even fit the show to the mission: Environmental groups will dig Buckminster Fuller, organizations for at risk youth could learn some rockin’ life lessons from Storm Large and every political action committee you’ve ever given $5 to on a street corner could learn a thing or two about politics and the media from Frost/Nixon. (Junior Leaguers? Yeah, we’re thinking they’ll get a kick out of the crazy but classy Bouvier sisters in Grey Gardens).

2. A book club meeting you don’t have to clean the bathroom for.

See if you can sneak one of the titles from Powells Books’ list of recommended reading for the season into your book club’s agenda for the year. Then, when it’s your turn to host, invite the group to join you for a matinee performance of the show related to the book.

You can come early; discuss the book on the mezzanine couches with some good espresso from the Armory Café and a tart or two from Two Tarts Bakery. Then have a blast at the show, end up looking like a classy dame (or guy), and not have to worry at all about what they might see if they peek into your medicine cabinet.

1. And last but not least, actually ENJOY your own holiday party.

My parents used to rent a trolley and pay to have their friends and relatives go caroling through the balmy neighborhoods of our South Florida resort town. My mom would bake a turkey and spend HOURS scraping little bits of caramelized nuts off the mincemeat pie tins. You could do that.

Or you could let experts do the caroling and invite friends and family to join you for a fabulous private holiday buffet on our mezzanine, followed by A Christmas Carol, a delightful family holiday drama (and not of the “we have to keep Aunt Marge away from the liquor cabinet” variety). You can even arrange to have each of your guests go home with a holiday gift package including a pair of tickets to see something else in the season.

This one is like a social secretary trifecta: You’ve fulfilled all your family holiday entertaining obligations in one glorious (clean-up free) evening, enjoyed a delightful holiday entertainment tradition with your near and dears, and saved yourself hours of shopping for people who would otherwise probably re-gift it all anyway.

Inspired? Email Group Sales Manager Rhianna (rhianna@pcs.org). She’ll help you organize the logistics of your event, save you up to 30% on the tickets and work with you, our preferred caterers and our rental coordinator Heather to make sure that your co-workers, friends and family are fed, lubricated and utterly delighted by your generosity (while having no idea what a great deal you got on the whole thing).

Email her right now, and start crossing things off your social planning to-do list. With the time you save you could… slip away for a cozy dinner for two and a romantic night at the theater!

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{photo: Eleanor O’Brien as Jane in Constance Congdon’s Paradise Street at JAW}

This year’s JAW continues to spur discussion, including this in-depth look back at the Festival that was by the Oregonian’s Marty Hughley. Marty spends some time talking about Carson Kreitzer’s play Enchantment, which started for her with an article in the New Yorker about an autistic boy who stares at a string 8 hours a day.

Want to see local actor Chris Murray’s take on the boy with the string (and what happens when the string gets taken away? It’s right here.

Also weighing in are former JAW intern Marissa Skudlarek, our own Literary Director Mead Hunter (who points out that one of our Promising Playwrights ended up cutting a little too close to the family bone with his curtain raiser) and followspot’s 50 word reactions to Pony and the other JAW plays.

In case you missed it, we had a long, exuberant, exhausting JAW weekend of birthing plays(and a rabbit or two),…

{photo: The ubiquitous Chris Murray, David Pichette and Antoinette LaVecchia riff on rabbits and all things vituperative during the JAW Workshop Reading of C.Denby Swanson’s A Brief Narrative of the Extraordinary Birth of Rabbits}

corralling Storm fans (including this steampunk gentleman with a padlock for a tie and his friend with the leather top hat)…

{photo: Storm Large fans lined up around the block to get in to the first public reading of her autobiographical premiere-in-progress, Crazy Enough.}

… and infesting every nook…

{photo:Lane Hunter & Co spreading out across the lobby floor Saturday in a site specific dance piece that was filmed live and re-projected onto the mezzanine wall, leading patrons down vertigo inducing thought paths ranging from sideways love to insectine romance.)

…and cranny of the Gerding Theater’s public… and private spaces…

{photo: Eric Hausmann “eviscerates the boundaries of public and private space” in a sound installation that patrons frequently stumbled into on their way to other…business.}

…while crazy theater folk hawked their seasons…

{photo: Third Floor Sketch Comedy Troupe’s Heather Nelson Robertson drums up some business for her table at the Theater Fair with a combination of nice gams and bouncy bubbles.}

…and our new restaurant neighbors hawked their delicious non-alcoholic mojitos…

{photo: Our new neighbors at Palomino, the restaurant in the old Manzana space, dropped by to share some fresh mint mojitos (minus the white lightning) with the crowds gathered for the theater fair.}

It was a heckuva weekend. But don’t take my word for it.

Here’s The Oregonian’s take on the event, plus some pre-and post- buzz about Storm’s new show, which received a standing ovation (and a rousing audience chorus of her new song “My Vagina is 8 Miles Wide”) at Saturday’s Workshop Reading.

The blogs(and more, and more) are heating up about the 5 plays workshopped at this year’s JAW. I’ll try to post them as I find them. Got your own thoughts to share about the shows you saw? Email your feedback to literary@pcs.org and they’ll get passed along to the artists whose process continues.

Thanks to everyone who participated in JAW- whether you wrote, performed, directed or just plain showed up, you contributed hugely to the future of American playwriting. We have been honored and delighted to share space and time with you this weekend.

{p.s. Photos all by the beautiful and talented Christine Siltanen}

Peek into performance in the making as Chris and Storm revise and rearrange hours of material in preparation for Saturday’s staged reading of Storm Large’s premiere-in-progress, Crazy Enough.

Want to see it live? Workshop Readings of this first draft of Storm’s autobiographical musical will take place at 2:00 pm on Saturday and Sunday this weekend. Get the complete schedule of events here.